Category: My Thought Bank

Week 3/52 done

Well we are in week 4 of 2015 already and time seems to be slipping away quickly, it is almost end of January. So, do what needs to done, say what needs to said, be nice, be kind, be awesome, no lies, accept the situation, deal with reality, be yourself, hurt less. You can delay things but time will not. When you say you don’t have the time, it means you do not want to do. Time is tiptoeing away, and only each one of us can see it takes more than it brings. Communicate, know and trust another don’t mislead, misjudge, mishandle and misguide.

“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”

Have a great Monday !

alice

Week 2 & a Happy Lohri 2015

Well today is the beginning of week 3 of the 52 weeks we have this year in 2015. (http://www.epochconverter.com/date-and-time/weeknumbers-by-year.php)

I am still in a recharge mode.. It hasn’t quite dwelled on me the whole New Year thing and luckily no resolutions so no rush to achieve any goals. However intentionally or not, I have not been a social media kind of person lately, (which usually isn’t me) and to be honest I didn’t realize I haven’t posted anything in 2015 on fb and insta.. that makes it almost two weeks (lol) but thanks to a dear friend who sent me this yesterday. And makes me realize life goes on with or without a lot of things we take for granted on a daily basis.

hey

 

Well thank God for thoughtful friends who miss your presence, even if it is not in person at least the whole idea of knowing that we are still alive and kicking makes a big difference. And thank you my dear friend, it means a lot to know I am thought of even if we don’t meet or talk. Out of sight is not always out of mind :-).

Having said that I wish everyone a very Happy Lohri today – and for those who are wondering what is this Happy Lohri all about – Check out my last year’s post Happy Lohri 2014.

Alleviate your load

inner voice

It’s not easy being yourself anymore. People expect us to act a certain way, look a certain way, love a certain way, feel a certain way and how to accept and not accept certain things. Quite honestly I think all of this sucks.

And all of this is to be socially accepted. We live in a world full of mental, physical and social perfectionists, or at least they pretend to be. So we cannot be who we really are. We have to shut down our true selves.

How do you feel? Or how should you react when the following happens:

When u have to use fake smiles and fake words and control your anger?

When you want to tell everyone the truth and you cannot?

When someone you know is taking advantage of your emotions or your kindness?

When some people do not respect your personal limitations?

When people treat you as rest stops?

I personally feel like that sometimes, like a huge bulldozer has run over you and you cannot do anything about it but stand up again. And sometimes the weight is so heavy that you are unable to walk or function properly and keep carrying the pain everywhere you go.

By not saying what’s on your mind? This troubles your body and affects it in the long run. You are putting your well-being in jeopardy. You cannot completely live, breath or talk without worrying about the response from others.

We are leading these artificial lifestyles. No amount of healthy eating and exercise can make us look awesome unless it is stress free. Or else nothing we eat or do will contribute to the wellbeing of our body and shape. Regardless of the amount of money and time you spent on gyms, diets, wellbeing packages, nothing is going to change.

All this is interrelated, when we don’t fully express ourselves, we are not using our power to fulfill a certain task and in fact we are giving our power away to that person or situation. Our external self cannot look happy unless our internal self is at peace.

Coming back to “Except what it is” even if it means you have to leave that ship, boat, train… whatever it might be – stay true to yourself and make decisions for yourself, set your boundaries and do not let people no matter how close or how far they are – to walk all over them. You do not need approval from others to agree to your choices.

If we do not communicate or state what we are feeling we are not valuing our own feelings in this world. You can live according to someone else’s likes, dislikes, wants, needs but eventually you are hurting yourself both internally and externally. Be Authentic. By self-imposing so much stress on yourself you cannot build anything positive, you will actually attract the opposite of what you want. If you are happy you can survive the whole day filled with errands, activities and list of things to do. But is you are angry or sad, you just want to get under the covers, sleep and hide away.

All in all

  1. Respect your feelings, Express your desires and wants to those who deserve to know
  2. Every decision is either giving you the power or taking your power away and giving it to someone else.
  3. Stop being so hard on yourself
  4. Be honest with yourself and your loved ones
  5. Its not about having time, its about making time for what you want
  6. Start again, even if it is time consuming – you will get there somehow. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, but it might all just be worth it in the end as long as you live.

One more day to go!! Never be sorry for your feelings – Express!

Issues

issues

I have been hearing a lot of people talk of having issues, work issue, parent issue, child issue, love issue, medical issue, money issue, trust issue, spouse issue etc. of course all this is not in a day or two but over a period of years and I am one of those people too who has a million and one issues. Some are really not so important issues like why do not I have the latest phone, or why can’t travel, or what to wear this evening kind of issues, which can easily be ignored rather lived without too. And then we have human to human issues which I feel if we are mature grownups (at least I get that feeling after my 40th) we should resolve them with the people who we have those issues with or if they are less important people then just leave them where they are and move on without looking back. You can only try that many times to reconcile or confront and if it is not working it is they loss in the long run. (If of course you owe them money or any kind of favour then you cannot forget them – lol – just kidding but yes money can be a very very sensitive issue or even if it is some sort of emotional attachment). Whatever the case, if someone has been there for you or bailed you out or watched your back then there are better ways to deal with them.

Majority of the people have issues and some sort of negative pattern in their behavior no matter how many times they apologize about it or promise to be a better person. Nothing changes. It’s easier said than done to let them go. Some of these people can be your family, your close friends, your companion, your boss, your neighbor. Some we cannot leave out of choice, some out of our need, some out of responsibility (we just go on without disturbing our surroundings) some you might bump into at work every day, some at social gatherings very often and some just might live down the road…

We can choose to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to all these unpleasant people and try and be in a happy place without them. But it is not so simple; we are going to have to deal with these issues and these people. We have to find better ways to cope up, confront or mutually meet certain standards for the relationship you share with those people.

And hell no, it is wrong to put up with any kind of abuse. Don’t let people (who ever it might be) go overboard with their nasty behavior or push you to hate yourself. You cannot change anyone, be it your own blood or your best friend. If people make you feel bad consistently and put you down. Don’t value you and your time in their lives. Then they need to get the heck out. Please show them that Life Goes On and you are nobody’s commodity to play and please when they require to feel good about themselves. No one is perfect however if these people exhibit negative behaviors regularly and habitually, you definitely need to leave them behind in 2014 and move on in 2015.

There is no right answer or wrong answer in most of the cases, no key formula for human behavior. Please do not diss anyone, do not inflict pain just to feel superior. Speak to them, talk to them, at least try to do so, do not demean and belittle anyone existence esp. the ones you are in your lives or at least were in your lives for a reason or relation.

We all have different stories, life experiences and facts to tell and to hide. Only you know yourself better than anyone else in this world. If you cannot help, don’t judge. If you cannot talk or confront, don’t sweep the dust under the rug and pretend that you have done nothing wrong or no one needs you.

We can all be compassionate human beings if we want to be and who we want to be with. We all can listen, encourage, show empathy and sympathy and give a pat on the shoulder. We all have the power to break or make someone. It is all within US. We always have a choice.

But whatever your relationship is with people, please beware of manipulators. Try to differentiate and recognize people and then shun them accordingly. Our happiness depends on our sanity. And no one has the right or the power to ruin it. There is a lot happening in this world and it sucks to see people who you know personally behave like you never knew them at all and wished that you had not made those relations with them. Nevertheless I feel, all our experiences in life teach us a lot and make us stronger. It’s a very touching topic and I can go on and on but just to end it on a note. Don’t have so many different rule books for so many different people. Sometimes your stupid behavior can cause metal illness or torture to the people in your life. And just like we don’t know everyone’s story – they might not know yours. So be considerate and talk and talk and talk. Meet the people who you want to meet and spend time with. Live with people you are close to your heart. Stop Complaining!! Stop believing in what is not there, because your are only deceiving yourself. Do not interfere in others’ lives if you do not want the same people to interfere in yours. Try to be nice do not try to be naïve.

HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS WITH YOUR LOVED ONES !! 🙂

The Boxes In The Hall

Sometimes poems can sound just like music and you just want to read them again and again

In every Room of our time together there is a box,
Of memories we shared,
Now is the time to pack away,
With Sadness and with Care.

The first is a simple smile,
Whenever I thought of you,
Neatly folded into four,
It’s the best that I could do.

Next are all the memories,
Of the times when we were two,
Wrapped with love one by one,
Sealed with tears as glue.

And then there are the butterflies,
I had when you were near,
Now in a cage of sadness,
And locked up with a tear.

Next are the times we kissed,
Each one wrapped with a sigh,
Placed next to a rolled up list,
Of all the times I’ve asked myself why.

Now to pack are the pieces of my heart,
Gathered in a pile,
Each one wrapped up tenderly,
And placed next to a distant smile.

Finally all the shattered wishes,
Placed in softly so no more can break,
Covering them over trying not to cry,
So they would not all ache.

Lastly walking round each room,
Closing each and every curtain,
Shutting each and every door,
Leaving behind each and ever pain.

Gathering up the memories we shared,
Making sure I’ve got them all,
Packing them softly because I cared,
Leaving them in the boxes in the hall.

Author – Unknown