Learn to apologize

April 7, 2016  |  Relationships

Apology

“Hey, I said sorry already, can we drop this?” “I said I’m sorry” “Yes, you are right – my bad sorry. Feel better now?”

No and No and in case you missed it – NO! – This is not an apology and no, just because you said it the issue is not resolved and no I feel worst now because you think this is all that was required to set everything straight.

Who gave you the bright idea that saying these two simple words would have the power to forgive and rectify your mistakes? At what point did it seem to be a good idea to say anything and everything and then reverse it all by saying I’m sorry? You might think that saying I’m sorry can fix things but in reality these words will not heal the wounds caused nor will it mend a relationship.

Don’t want to be considered a tool again, perhaps you ought to learn to give a proper apology in three steps:

Own up to your behavior – You messed up, admit it. The person you wronged is hurt and you need to restore trust.

Choose your words – It’s not I apologize, it’s I’m sorry – Sorry shows more depth and expresses remorse while apologize points to your regrets for your action. There is a difference, understand it. Further there are no if’s and but’s in an apology. Those are excuses and you cannot bring an excuse into an apology

Listen – You apologized, now keep quite. Listen to the other person share back how they feel. Resist the urge to keep apologizing or offering explanations. Let the other person vent and you might understand the depth of the hurt you have caused.

That catchphrase “Love means you never have to say you’re sorry” has got it all wrong. It is and should be “Love means being quick to say sorry”


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