Love Being a Single MOM

It’s been so long again and I keep shillyshally! I keep writing and not posting but I guess it’s time to get back in action and so I wanted to share this …on 12/12/12…. I know it’s kinda long but hey what the hell – Happy Reading!!

Well it is not a bed of roses to raise a child single handedly; however it’s up to the individual to take it as a blessing or to keep ranting about it… Personally I have learnt that it is indeed a blessing. There are a lot of upsides to being a single mom and the extra ordinary experiences that emerge from bringing up your child alone… (no doubt at times it totally frustrating and you wish they was someone to just take over for a bit like even an hour – just so you don’t have to run to the stationary shop at 10pm or run to buy a pair of white shoes for school PE or take him for a haircut or someone who could actually stand up and make a point without ME having to feel bad all the time or even, not having to hook up the TV/ video or ps3 cables for him…)

It’s definitely not easy being a single mom but here is how I look at it:

1. I share a closer bond with my son.

Although it is true that boys are closer to mom and daughter are closer to Dads however solo parenting does not leave you with that choice – you love your one and only be it a girl or a boy or even more than one. My son can trust me fully and depend on me and that’s a wonderful feeling. I can proudly say that I have been there for him since he was born and I kinda taught him everything he knows. I witnessed the first smile, the first letter, the sound the steps and annoying yet heart melting crying and those things you cannot relive. I am his mom and I am his dad.

2. I feel like a supermom

And I can only talk for myself or help other single mom’s change they perspective if be it. I have people asking me all the time “How do u do it”, “It must be difficult” and it makes me feel rather silly cox, “I just do it”, I wouldn’t know the difference of not doing it”… This is my life and I am used to it and I am content, happy and also confident.” And I can tell from the look on my son’s face that somehow my hard work, scarifies, love, protecting and my attitude has only made him a happy child too (and a very friendly and lovely too).

3. Yes there days when they are younger and crankier and more issues but now when he’s turned ten already, he is all grown up, he understands me better, he’s more concerned about my whereabouts and likes and dislikes and my moods and even what color lipstick should I wear…or maybe I should wear the blue frock (yes he calls it’s a frock and not a dress “giggles”) I can look back 10 years and feel proud that I have come a long way on my own and it is the best feeling ever.

4. Although I have to thank my immediate family and very close friends (more like family) that have been there for me – a few have come and gone and a few have still hung around and many more have added… It is very important to have a reliable and close knitted group of people you can bank on. And thanks to them we end up having a bigger family and thus it is not hard at all being a single mom.

5. Then I have my mom who thinks how am I ever going to make it thru at different stages in my life being a single mom, but I get a lot of encouraging words, moral support and unconditional love from certain people, that make all my worries vanish and makes me a stronger woman internally and more on the outside…

6. And now the kool part is that I am my own boss in my own house especially even more so if you are not sharing the custody of your child with his/her father. Cox at the end of the day it’s your call (be it right or wrong) you have the freedom to make those important decisions.. My son cannot turn around and tell me “Hmmnnnn – let me ask Daddy or he will do it for me or I will go ask him”.. Plus even my son doesn’t have to think about who do I love more or who’s gonna get me the better gift or Dad is in a bad mood or mom and dad are forever fighting and stuff like that.. He knows what to expect from me and I know how much to spoil him..

7. As a single mom and a mother I need to keep both my son and myself safe at all times. So no abusive or unhealthy environment at home is allowed (which generally happens in the case if men are around – they want to drink, they bring they office stress home, throw they weight around, call friends at any time of the night over, the manly talk and abusive language)

8. I don’t mean to belittle or demean any Dads or men – I am just stating how I love being a single mom and it means everything to me that I am the reason my child feels loved and I am capable of providing all the emotional security. So all you single mom’s out there you guys are doing a brilliant job, it’s never going to be easy and at times your children will refuse to even acknowledge you but deep down in their hearts they know that it YOU who has always been they from them and no one else. They will be your friends; it’s only up to you how you make them your BEST friends!

9. All said and done, I wish him all the success in his life, of course a typical parent (mom) always wanting him to accomplish more and want more for him and all of that but I might not say this quite often I am grateful for all that he is and for all that he does..

10. My friends even call him my Manager or my Bodyguard or someone who doesn’t let me do anything without him knowing or approving it first… Now with him around who needs a bigger family…? I can hardly handle him!!

Happy Thanksgiving

I said I will be back here in a week’s time but time sure does fly… and it’s almost been a month. With all the Diwali Smoke, Lights and Action taking place, it’s a never ending celebration …  Which comes only once a year just like any other occasion (lol!!!)? Trying to shuffle between work, school, leisure hours and quick and instant picks and drops whether be it my child or the groceries… time just seems to be running faster than me…

So I would like to just quickly stop by to Wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving Day.

I guess you should do the same – take time off to reflect and share gratitude with your loved ones.

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our Thanksgiving,”

Have a Blessed Weekend.

Holidays and much More

Well looks like we are back to the weekend again, that was quick.. i have been so so so  busy with just about everything and havn’t had the time to stop here and update everyone.. But i guess next week is going to be catch up time and by then i will have lots and lots more to post about… till then.. Have a Happy Weekend.

 

Never Stop Learning

Since the holidays are starting up – it finally gives me the time to start working on my numerous projects. Top of the list is:

  • Calligraphy – I have been very interested in calligraphy and recently got gifted a set (on moi birthday) with a couple of books on the subject and the required pens – Time for me to start practicing! I have sort of browsed thru them and i tell you there is so much to read, so i guess i am just going to start doing it !!
  • Glass bottle lamp- I am half way through my bottle lamp project – idea taken from here – (althg i need to make a trip to Ace, after burning the first drill bit and i got a new one from them however that too doesn’t fit my drill ;-( )
  • Baking – Now that my brownies are world famous 😉 – I’ve got a few recipes to try out – The French chocolate brownie sounds heavenly
  • Gardening – Every time I go to the Sultan Centre I end up buying seed packets and my son and i did sow them on one Friday but thanks to the Kuwait sandstorm they all got re-dispersed to other parts of the building –  now thanks to the few extra empty pots lying around and this blog – I thought I will give it a try again!!! Plus i guess its the best time of the season too…. Plants, flowers and more …..
Those are just a few on the top of my list – I also need to get all my music/ movie collection sorted out on the iPad and media centre !
Busy Busy Busy – Happy Holidays everyone!

The Gift

“Buddha was walking into the city market one day and near the city entrance an old bitter man was sitting on a box glaring at Buddha, who carried a bright smile on his face. At the sight of him this old man started cursing Buddha up and down, left right and center, telling him how pretentious he was, how much better he thought he was and how he did nothing worthy of the air he breathed in this world. But Buddha simply smiled and kept on walking to the market to get what he needed.

The Next day Buddha returned to the market and once again that old man was there, this time his cursing intensified, screaming and yelling at Buddha as he walked by, cursing his mother, cursing his father and everyone else in his life.

This went on for the rest of the week and finally as the Buddha was leaving the market the man came up to him, as his curiosity had simply gotten the best of him.
“Buddha, every day you come here smiling and every day I curse your name, I curse your family and everything you believe in” the old man says ” but every day you enter this city with a smile knowing that I await you with my harsh tongue, and everyday you leave through the same entrance with that same smile. I know by speaking to you now that you are not deaf, why do you keep on smiling while I do nothing but scream the worst things I can think of to your face?”

Buddha, with the same smile still on his face looks at the old man and asks “If I were to bring you a gift tomorrow morning all wrapped up in a beautiful box would you accept it?” to which the old man replies “Absolutely not, I would take nothing from the likes of you!”. “Ah ha” the Buddha replies “Well if I were to offer you this gift and you were to refuse then who would this gift belong to?”. “It would still belong to you of course” answers the old man. “And so the same goes with your anger, when I choose not to accept your gift of anger , does it not then remain your own?”