And so soon I start another year in my life, a milestone achieved and with milestones comes reflection time. For me I think i have settled into knowing my flaws are never going to be completely overcome, no matter how hard I try. Life is a spiral and with every level , I want to be a better version of myself – start level 40 with being indignant at other people’s ignorance and reach level 41 where I am now more tolerant and try to figure out where the ignorance stems from. Now I am less judgmental and seek to understand and accept. Another spiral and a better version of me – 4.1 – newer and improved !
I guess that is what one can really do in life – better oneself in every way – accept that you are flawed and work at improving daily- be it my addiction to chocolate and my aversion to exercise – work at each and every little bit to make a better me.
Often it is the case that pride has resulted in being the central cause of a broken relationship, and our ego’s are the walls that prevent reconciliation and therefore stop us from our own happiness.
Pride is that comfortable pillow that we can snuggle to when we feel that we have been hurt by someone but it can also prevent you from reconnecting from people after a conflict.When we get hurt, we tend to use pride as a way to hurt the other party back in a passive way , typical is the knee jerk reaction of cutting off contact or making conversation with the other party as cold as possible while they are trying to reconcile. Realize that both parties have some portion of blame in the cause and effect of a conflict. It is the easiest thing to raise your hands and say that none of it is your fault, and it is very difficult to overcome pride and be the first person to step forward to prevent the relationship to deteriorate further.
Having said that, keep in mind that reconciliation has to be a joint effort wherein both parties must resolve to understand each other better. Extend the olive branch but make sure that you don’t reach a point of time wherein you want to use it as a whip 🙂
Yes I know it’s always easy to blame the other party, but I feel that sometimes we need to think introspectively, stop and have an inner monologue to decipher what really is the crux of any problem in the relationship. Benign things – a misheard word, an off the cuff remark, an honest opinion not asked for can at times be the bud from where the annoyance starts and ends up with a full blown rage that can derail any relationship.
It is very difficult to take blame and easier to find fault in others, but sometimes,just sometimes – asking yourself the question – what is this really about? , can lead to opening doors that you never knew existed.