We both know that
you like me
and I like you
and it is all about
who admits it
let’s go out
and pretend not
to like each other
Maybe we can pretend
not to like each other
for dinner, later,
or breakfast the next morning.
Maybe we can pretend
that we kiss because
Call because we’re bored.
We can pretend
not to care
for as long as you like,
but darling, no one
ever choked to death
swallowing their pride.
Inside her ribcage city, Lies an abandoned heart hotel
Haunted with the memories, Of a time it once knew well,
If you’re quiet and imagine, You can hear the closing doors,
The forgotten conversations, And the footsteps on the floors,
It was open many years ago, When she was still young and naïve
Believing if she gave enough. She d’eventually receive,
Each day she cleaned and cooked, To ensure comfort for her guests,
Bust as people kept arriving, It grew heavy in her chest,
Eventually to hear herself, She almost had to shout,
Over the people who once moved in, And then never moved out,
Although they had faded from her life, They memories roamed the halls,
For she was so afraid of heartbreak, That she clung onto them all,
But the hotels aren’t designed, For everyone who comes to stay,
And when you keep on cramming people in, Something’s going to give way,
And so the story goes, Her heart hotel slowly closed down,
She learnt to let things go, And moved into a nicer town,
That she’s doing so much better, And she owns a cottage now,
Where ones she loves the dearest, Are the only guests she will allow.
It’s not easy being yourself anymore. People expect us to act a certain way, look a certain way, love a certain way, feel a certain way and how to accept and not accept certain things. Quite honestly I think all of this sucks.
And all of this is to be socially accepted. We live in a world full of mental, physical and social perfectionists, or at least they pretend to be. So we cannot be who we really are. We have to shut down our true selves.
How do you feel? Or how should you react when the following happens:
When u have to use fake smiles and fake words and control your anger?
When you want to tell everyone the truth and you cannot?
When someone you know is taking advantage of your emotions or your kindness?
When some people do not respect your personal limitations?
When people treat you as rest stops?
I personally feel like that sometimes, like a huge bulldozer has run over you and you cannot do anything about it but stand up again. And sometimes the weight is so heavy that you are unable to walk or function properly and keep carrying the pain everywhere you go.
By not saying what’s on your mind? This troubles your body and affects it in the long run. You are putting your well-being in jeopardy. You cannot completely live, breath or talk without worrying about the response from others.
We are leading these artificial lifestyles. No amount of healthy eating and exercise can make us look awesome unless it is stress free. Or else nothing we eat or do will contribute to the wellbeing of our body and shape. Regardless of the amount of money and time you spent on gyms, diets, wellbeing packages, nothing is going to change.
All this is interrelated, when we don’t fully express ourselves, we are not using our power to fulfill a certain task and in fact we are giving our power away to that person or situation. Our external self cannot look happy unless our internal self is at peace.
Coming back to “Except what it is” even if it means you have to leave that ship, boat, train… whatever it might be – stay true to yourself and make decisions for yourself, set your boundaries and do not let people no matter how close or how far they are – to walk all over them. You do not need approval from others to agree to your choices.
If we do not communicate or state what we are feeling we are not valuing our own feelings in this world. You can live according to someone else’s likes, dislikes, wants, needs but eventually you are hurting yourself both internally and externally. Be Authentic. By self-imposing so much stress on yourself you cannot build anything positive, you will actually attract the opposite of what you want. If you are happy you can survive the whole day filled with errands, activities and list of things to do. But is you are angry or sad, you just want to get under the covers, sleep and hide away.
All in all
- Respect your feelings, Express your desires and wants to those who deserve to know
- Every decision is either giving you the power or taking your power away and giving it to someone else.
- Stop being so hard on yourself
- Be honest with yourself and your loved ones
- Its not about having time, its about making time for what you want
- Start again, even if it is time consuming – you will get there somehow. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, but it might all just be worth it in the end as long as you live.
One more day to go!! Never be sorry for your feelings – Express!
Sometimes poems can sound just like music and you just want to read them again and again
In every Room of our time together there is a box,
Of memories we shared,
Now is the time to pack away,
With Sadness and with Care.
The first is a simple smile,
Whenever I thought of you,
Neatly folded into four,
It’s the best that I could do.
Next are all the memories,
Of the times when we were two,
Wrapped with love one by one,
Sealed with tears as glue.
And then there are the butterflies,
I had when you were near,
Now in a cage of sadness,
And locked up with a tear.
Next are the times we kissed,
Each one wrapped with a sigh,
Placed next to a rolled up list,
Of all the times I’ve asked myself why.
Now to pack are the pieces of my heart,
Gathered in a pile,
Each one wrapped up tenderly,
And placed next to a distant smile.
Finally all the shattered wishes,
Placed in softly so no more can break,
Covering them over trying not to cry,
So they would not all ache.
Lastly walking round each room,
Closing each and every curtain,
Shutting each and every door,
Leaving behind each and ever pain.
Gathering up the memories we shared,
Making sure I’ve got them all,
Packing them softly because I cared,
Leaving them in the boxes in the hall.
Author – Unknown
Can you relate to this? Do you ever feel this way? Do share your views!!
“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them, words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”
Happy thinking and Happy Countdown to 2015!!