Tag: person

The Butterfly Inside us

Not until recently I discovered the meaning OH Well!  The symbolic meaning of the Butterfly. The more I read and see the transformation of a butterfly the more I seem to agree that it is in fact the representation for the Heart- joy, rebirth, happiness, change, hope. Not only they look so beautiful and dainty they also represent strength and gentleness.

At some point of time, we all have to go through grief and loss and perhaps the change we are not ready for yet we have no choices. Although some people may choose to retreat in a cocoon, for healing. However that is part one of the stage, we have to come out and transform, emerge as the person we should be or have to be into a different person. Hence the transformation is just like the life of a butterfly.

Like the caterpillar, this cocoons before its transformation into a butterfly but after experiencing the loss of being a caterpillar. This teaches us to live again and while we accept the change and the beauty of the change for the best.

If you watch the butterfly it will land quietly, softly and yet it is hopeful and full of belief into its new form. Hence we learn to live forever yet changed and transformed into someone we were not. A chance to reconceive ourselves, to be reborn as individuals out of whatever loss or change it is.

If we try we all can emerge from the cocooned dark place, accept the change and transform into a different person.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty”. – Maya Angelou

We always seem to resist the change and the suffering yet, when we do, that is what sets us free. We all have a little bit of butterfly inside us and unlike them, we have more than once to experience that – our beliefs, opinions, ideas, perceptions etc can be changed and transformed over and over again.

Another favourite quote that I like is:

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

To name a few, In China, it symbolises love. Chinese legend has it that the Butterfly symbolizes an undying bond between lovers.

In the Ancient Celts, it represents the carrying of the souls of the dead from Purgatory to the Heaven

In Greek it is associated with the Goddess “Psyche” forever linked with love with Eros (Cupid) – both hopelessly in love with the other.

In ancient Egypt they reigning as the symbol of Isis.

The nearly unlimited symbols of butterflies exemplifies the advent of hope for a change for a better life, a better world.

So people, spread your wings and transform beautifully.

Such a small, tiny creature yet so graceful, full of life and colour represent so much hope. I am sure we all have seen butterflies in real life and somehow we always stare at them until they are not visible to the eye anymore and even better is when we are surrounded by our children, we shout out to them and say “Look Look – Look at the Butterfly”

Only once in your life

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all.

A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.

You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.

Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”  ―    Bob Marley

How to argue fairly

“The most important thing for a good relationship is to learn how to argue peaceably”

Disagreements are a part of human nature and though they can be tiring at times, if they are handled properly they can be settled with no long term damage to a relationship. Almost always, it is not topic of the argument but lack of any ground rules that make things spiral out of control.

First and foremost is the way you approach an argument, an argument occurs when two people have differing opinions on a topic, each believing that they are right. Unfortunately people approach the argument looking for control or for staking their claim to be right rather than looking for a resolution where all parties are heard and opinions debated. Remember this is a relationship not a full body contact sport like wrestling where there has to be a clear winner.

Some specific points to follow are:

Privacy matters – No arguing in public, the argument is between the two of you and that is where it remains.

The past is the past – We all have made mistakes, an argument is not the right time to bring them up. Keep the argument relevant – old grudges should be left out

Don’t make it personal – Stay focused on the topic, you have an issue and sort it out – Don’t start on personal traits, if it is relevant to the topic, then approach it in a different manner that shows how you are affected by it rather than exclaim the personality trait over and over.

Is anybody listening ?– Make an effort and listen to what your partner is trying to say – sure you might think that it has all been said before and you know what it’s all about but you really might not have a clue. Besides it lets the other person vent, and perhaps that it what is really required.

Graceful exits – The ending of an argument is critical to a relationship, notice if your partner is trying to end the argument and accept it – It could be in the form of a joke in the middle of an argument or an action such as walking back into an argument they just ran out on.

Importance scale– People disagree all the time, is everything you disagree about that important to you  that you need to get mad all the time or is it something that you can let slide and leave it for the important stuff.

Watch the clock – It is an argument not a war – there has to be a time limit – If you feel that you are going around in circles, let it go and cool down. Come back to it another time.

Communication is the key in any relationship and it is the lack of it that causes friction.

People tend not to speak when something small upsets them under the guise of not wanting to create issues but these small things tend to build up resentment in one and usually an extremely small incident occurs that causes your partner to face the full wrath of your fury.  At this point the other person is wondering what was that important that caused all this to happen and blames you back for getting mad all the time . So next time don’t let things build up and explode – Talk people ! Talk!

And most importantly prioritise, and do not sweep it under the rug!

Me Time Free Time

A lot of people want to have a “It’s my life and I am free” attitude. They want to change and yet they want to be themselves which means they are not really changing for the better at all, but rather as per they convenience.

“ME TIME” or “FREE TIME” these words can be very tricky in our so called free-fallen world.

We all need space and time for ourselves and that is what most of the magazines or various therapists will suggest in this modern world, they would normally recommend to give yourselves at least 10 minutes of Me Time/ Free Time on a daily basis. But I am sure we all will never be satisfied with just 10 minutes (because that is just too less) but even an hour or even a day, would it make a difference if we have it our way? Personally I think it won’t but then that’s me talking on behalf of the whole world .

What the majority of us think about as freedom is truly exploitation of freedom. There are two major issues with this attitude. First is the word “Me”. Now “Me means I” Like I said earlier the so called modern population does not have an indication of who they are but they are more influenced by the surroundings they live in and the situation they are faced with then they act according to what suits them best. What car we drive, how we live, what we wear, who we hang out with, who we want to hang out with. All of this confuses the poor “ME” and hence we become just another fallen human being which I am not saying is not normal. Just thinking out loud!!

The other tacky word is “FREE”. Again (I mention the word) in “modern” times the idea of freedom to do anything that pleases you that very moment which does not give you the license to steal or kill someone. Freedom has limitations.
It also does not mean you can act like a selfish B_ _ _ _ _ or an egotistic B __ _ _ _ _! Now that is purely my point of view. There is a huge difference in doing what fancies you at all cost or abandoning someone to pursue your so called happiness or in other words ME TIME. (I am sorry just can’t stress enough) 🙂

To sum it “It’s ok to restore yourself when you are alone but don’t destroy someone else in the meantime.”

Stressing on the fact that, that we are all not like this intentionally (a BIG maybe) we tend to be very very selfish and to hell with the world attitude doesn’t benefit us for long time but by then it’s too late to.

Most of us are slaves of our qualms and self-centeredness. And if we really want to be free we must begin with outlining freedom by our conscious mind.

Nadia Ali Embers

So a Friend of mine, send this Album to me nearly three months ago.. and i cant believe i didn’t pay any attention to it.. I was listening to it with my headphones in the office this morning when you want to get away from the world and not pay any attention to who’s saying what? And i was like WOW! Truly amazing and euphoric. All the songs have such meaningful lyrics and i believe she writes them herself from life experiences.. We can truly feel the emotions behind the songs or sometimes relate to the music with our lives. I especially love the song ‘Fantasy’ from this album although i think they all are very ‘Kool”! Yes kool… just like me..

What you want from others?

I came across this interesting read and i would like to share it with all of you out there,who are trying so hard to get what they actually want..

Asking people for what we want can sometimes be a difficult process involving awkward discussions and potential conflict. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.

The secret to getting what you want from other people is to develop a genuine sense of reciprocity by giving before you receive.

The term ‘reciprocity’ describes the expectation that people will respond to you in the same way that you respond to them. So if you give another person something of value, they will be much more inclined to give you something in return.

Next time you want something from someone, instead of simply asking or demanding what you want, try using the following Reciprocity Formula.

The Reciprocity Formula

Step 1: Analyse the situation from the other person’s point of view and try to identify what they currently want. If you
can’t figure out what they want, the best thing to do is to ask them.

Step 2: When you have identified the main thing they want, present your case by saying something like, “If I help you achieve…
[what they want], could we discuss… [what you want]. Most reasonable people will be open to this approach because they are receiving before they have to give.

Step 3: Follow through and help the other person achieve their objective. The more time and effort you put in during this step,
the more reciprocity you will develop.

Step 4: When you have achieved the objective you agreed upon, revisit your initial discussion and ask for what you originally
wanted.

Personally, sometimes we really can’t fulfill the other person’s “Desiderata” (desired things) but just knowing that there is someone out there who is willing to listen and can at least try to help and solve the issue makes a big difference in ANOTHER’s life.. you never know when you will be needing their reciprocation back.