I had the unique opportunity to watch a relationship burn out with access to both sides of the relationship. I tried my best to get my friends issues sorted out, but there would be so many conversations that would run in circles, that in the end – I decided to sit on the sidelines and observe as I felt that I had nothing to offer.
From his end – I saw that he wanted to fix things, but his ego tripped him up – he termed it as self-respect but I saw it as his ego and we bantered back and forth until finally I too gave up.
But it got me thinking about self-respect, ego and how you can identify Mr.Ego if you come across him.
So defining it, Self-Respect is concerned with how we value ourselves according to our own standard of worthiness, it deals with how we value our own integrity and to have the ability to be ashamed if we fail to live up to our own opinion of what one should do and how one should be.
Ego is concerned with how we perceive others according to our own standard of worthiness, it deals with how we value others if they fail to live up to our own opinion of what one should do and how one should be.
And if you think you have a Mr. Ego in your life, see how many of these characteristics he shows:
Talks a lot about himself – Mr. Ego needs to hear himself talk about how his life is doing and how well he is coping with his daily struggles at work, with his friends etc . If any topic you talk about takes a turn about himself – then that’s a sign that you have a Mr. Ego in your life.
Knows better – Mr. Ego knows about everything and everyone – He cannot be wrong, and if he is, then he did not have all the facts initially to make a proper judgement in the first place and that’s all your fault too.
Let’s Compare – Mr. Ego can only be satiated when he can constantly compare himself to others and feel superior. Even worst, he tends to compete with you- the so called love of his life because he needs to constantly feel better about himself.
So many faults – Mr Ego is the first one to point your faults and make sure to tell you when you are wrong- Criticism is his forte – constructive criticism not so much. If he is the first to point out why your clothes don’t look good but never a compliment when you are dressed well…. that’s Mr.Ego.
Make me feel better – Mr. Ego needs you to make himself feel better. Your love and affection feeds his self-value. Even if he knows the relationship is doomed, he will continue as he needs his daily boost of self-worth.
Jealous much? – Mr Ego is an immaculate time keeper -He needs to know where you are and who are you talking to – Out for a party – he needs to know what time you will get back – That old flame you still are friends with? – Nope those things don’t happen in Mr. Ego’s world.
ME first – Mr. Ego needs to protect himself before anyone else. Try to have a discussion and see Mr. Ego disappear faster than you can say “we need to talk”. He will justify his actions by blaming you to be too sensitive, and try to make you feel responsible for him running away.
We all have an ego but we need to learn to keep it in check, otherwise it will destroy your relationship with anger, jealousy and resentment. Do yourself a favor and let Mr. Ego walk away, seek a person who loves himself first – if a man cannot love himself – he will never truly be able to love you.